There is absolutely zero pleasure in eating a cold hash brown

The anxiety I feel when entering a hotel shower for the first time. Will it scald me? Will I freeze to death? Who knows. More news when I have it.

Me sat judging the creations on #Masterchef when my masterpiece is oven pizza with a side dish of garlic bread

A more regular payday would be nice. I'm thinking every day.

Friday

What’s worse than a heartbreak? Going to take a sip of your tea & realising you’d already drank it

obsessed with ar deirdre pulling out a ciggie forgetting she’s already got one on the go x

Anyone got any footage of Peter Blandre finding out Katie Price is number 1 on iTunes?

Summer of 1976 klaxon on Channel 5

Today I am nominating stuffing as the best part of a roast dinner

The heatings come on

Can’t get one question right. Just realised I’m old enough to be every single one of the contestants Mother. Fuck this I’m going a bed #universitychallenge

Looking at those long term cruises that I wouldn't go on and could never afford but what happens if on day 3 you're pig sick of everyone and you want to come home? Is there a plan for that?

This week I received a patronising email from my boys' school and a flyer about attendance. The emphasis on blaming parents - and we don't take our kids out of school - totally misses the point that many kids are not in school because they have additional needs, not on holiday.

Off to Morecambe for a couple of days tomorrow

Won £5.40 on last nights Euromillions