Omg, Duo! I have a job!

Be right back, going to the Zoo…

Just going to leave this here.

🎯

#AndCounting should be trending. Could I get 1,000 retweets to make this happen in the next hour?

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Great question.

Long overdue.

Republicans against Trump Omar Rivero:Arguing with a Trump supporter is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, crap on the board, and strut around like it won…

The clock has already started.

Y’all. I’m just going to leave this here.

Girl. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Don’t be fooled.

Yay!

Oh, hey. I've been hanging out at another club and thought I'd check in here. There's no cover charge at the other place. Have a great weekend!

Honestly, I think my recent hospital stay for a ruptured appendix was less stressful than scrolling through X.

I'm trying to like "Copenhagen Cowboy", but I don't know if I can get through episode 3.

All of the retweets about Nancy Mace are only giving her the attention she craves. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

"Someone had to vote no."