This but an Xbox and a JBL speaker. The Romans could never imagine this level of ingenuity.

I lowkey look like a conservative person. I promise you my loyal Twitter followers I am not

What happened to dropping anvils on people. Remember when pianos used to randomly fall from the sky. Remember when random objects with "50 Tons" written on them were just dropped on people. Man the good old days

The CEO joined a Zoom meeting.

how it feels to type in your email and password with a remote

Please fucking save me, I have Netanyahu’s greatest high schooler in front of me

All expenses paid trip by my job! So awesome!

I miss my girlfriend so much

OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally found my Bluetooth headphones. Listening to music and taking a 30 minute shower when im being told to conserve water never felt so good

Music is so awesome

I hate having to walk like 400 ft just to go pee. Like move the bathrooms closer

Im so sick and I lost super bad in catan yesterday (I was orange)

Absolutely sweeped in catan tonight. Finally a return from the great upset of earlier. Ended off with 10 points ultimately winning. Not even close for my opponents.

I feel bad because I fell asleep on my girlfriend last night and I didn't tell her goodnight or I wasn't there to make her feel better :(

‘POOP’ is reportedly being released from My Butt. (Source: me right now im shitting)

Just had a nightmare so crazy that I shot up out of bed like in a cartoon. That shit was crazy

if i walk into a hotel room and see this bad boy i know ima be wakin up the next morning in hoth

My dinner tonight