My dude, you’re not even as cool as Schuyler Colfax.

We are so cooked

I’m begging these people to actually read the damn books.

1. Miami (OH) (nc) 2. Duke (+1) 3. Michigan (-1) 4. Arizona (nc) 5. Nebraska (nc) 6. Houston (+1) 7. Virginia (-1) 8. Vanderbilt (+1) 9. Illinois (-1) 10. UConn (+1) 11. Michigan St (+2) 12. Alabama (+3) 13. Texas Tech (+3) 14. Arkansas (nc) 15. BYU (-3)

Posting these on the go this week: Format: Wager (% of bankroll) Man United +155 (5%) Tottenham +135 (5%) Draw Chelsea v Aston Villa (5%)

1. Miami (OH) (nc) 2. Michigan (+1) 3. Duke (-1) 4. Arizona (nc) 5. Nebraska (nc) 6. Virginia (+1) 7. Houston (-1) 8. Vanderbilt (nc) 9. Illinois (nc) 10. Michigan State (+1) 11. Arkansas (+3) 12. Louisville ( +7) 13. Alabama (-1) 14. North Carlina (+2) 15. Purdue (+2)

If you were going to fairly seed the NCAA Tournament, here's what it would look like (making some assumptions about who wins the remaining Conference tournaments).

Format: Wager (% of bankroll) Sunderland +235 (5%) Draw Liverpool v Tottenham +475 (5%) Fulham +230 (5%) Draw Bournemouth v Burnley +295 (5%) Draw Manchester City v West Ham (2.6%) Professor’s Parlay Experiment (2 legs): Brentford and Crystal Palace both win +265 (5%)

❌Sunderland +235 (5%) Draw Liverpool v Tottenham +475 (5%) Fulham +230 (5%) ✅Draw Bournemouth v Burnley +295 (5%) Draw Manchester City v West Ham (2.6%) Professor’s Parlay Experiment (2 legs): Brentford and Crystal Palace both win +265 (5%)

❌Sunderland +235 (5%) Draw Liverpool v Tottenham +475 (5%) Fulham +230 (5%) ✅Draw Bournemouth v Burnley +295 (5%) ✅Draw Manchester City v West Ham (2.6%) Professor’s Parlay Experiment (2 legs): Brentford and Crystal Palace both win +265 (5%)

❌Sunderland +235 (5%) ✅Draw Liverpool v Tottenham +475 (5%) ❌Fulham +230 (5%) ✅Draw Bournemouth v Burnley +295 (5%) ✅Draw Manchester City v West Ham (2.6%) Professor’s Parlay Experiment (2 legs): ❌Brentford and Crystal Palace both win +265 (5%)

Miami OH's hold on number one was soft - so soft that that one loss drops them from 1 to 45 in my ranking. The math is a cruel mistress.

Here's what it should have been.

Format: Wager (% of bankroll) Leeds +145 (5%) Tottenham +145 (3.9%) Draw Liverpool Brighton +260 (5%) Professor’s Parlay Experiment (2 Legs): Newcastle and Aston Villa both win +221 (5%)

Watching a billionaire crash out because he’s being introspective about not being introspective is quite the show.

Format: Wager (% of bankroll) Draw Liverpool Fulham +340 (1.8%) West Ham -120 (0.9%) Brentford +115 (1.8%) Sunderland +160 (5%) Draw Newcastle v Crystal Palace +250 (4.4%) Draw Manchester City v Chelsea +285 (5%) Professor's Parlay Experiment: Arsenal and Manchester United Win

Draw Liverpool Fulham +340 (1.8%) ✅West Ham -120 (0.9%) Brentford +115 (1.8%) Sunderland +160 (5%) Draw Newcastle v Crystal Palace +250 (4.4%) Draw Manchester City v Chelsea +285 (5%) Professor's Parlay Experiment: Arsenal and Manchester United Win +127 (5%)

1) this is meaningless 2) if you’re getting a 4 digit return, you’re overpaying and giving the feds an interest free loan. Fix your withholdings.