I’m gonna be white angus cloud for Halloween

The defining trait of most powerhouse dramatic actors is a slightly lazy eye

Softshell crab is a good place to start… but what about No Shell Crab? Idk. Something for God to think about.

Lovin’ the whip shots Cardi B! So great running into you today!

Noah “Will You Squirt For Me?” Centineo is fantastic in Black Adam. Noah I applaud you #BlackAdam

That actor who looks like Stanley Tucci but he’s not? Somebody keep an eye on that guy.

All signs point to the fact that I am cold-blooded, like a lizard, and accordingly, I should be provided a big sunny rock to sit on

God gives black and grey Einstein portrait tattoos to his dumbest soldiers

I used to think Adele was a black woman

Superman hangs dong.

Had a dream I shaved my head and it turned out there was a dent in it this whole time

Can’t believe that Jeff Dunham is Lena Dunham’s dad

Guy in first class reading a PRINTcopy of The Wall Street Journal clearly doesn’t understand how incredibly on the nose he’s being

Frank Sinatra really hopped on tracks and said “I am an Alcoholic Degenerate Gambler, You are a Whore, and by the way Merry Christmas”

I would put Animorphs up against Animal Farm any day of the week

Choosing to believe Tig Wrote this

If you tell an old person “They don’t make em like you anymore, sir” they will suck your dick in the middle of John Wayne Airport

Just found out they lettin niggas in the next Avatar

Mfs w Black Ice car fresheners think they’re immune to bad juju

new voice of rick and morty should just be regina king doing huey and riley