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"I'll pay the check."

"I've never been at fault in a car accident."

"I don't feel like bitching right now."

"Don't get up, I'll scrape the frost off your windshield for you."

"Do we have to watch The Notebook?"

"I don't want to bone Channing Tatum."

"I love it when he gives me a Dutch Oven." #fact

"I just crop-dusted an entire section of the library."

"I have to drop a huge deuce."

"No, I don't feel like watching any reality TV."

"Let me kill that spider for you."

"Do I make this dress look fat?"

"If I was gay, I'd tap Rosie O'Donnell."

"I'd better check the facts before I spread that rumor." #Comedy

"Since I'm on my period, why don't I just give you blowies all week?"

"I would totally do Ted Smith."

"JEETZ gets me so wet."

"I don't want a hot guy with a good job, all I want is @BenThePsycho."

"It's so hot when a guy lives with his parents."

"I have a headache tonight... So let me take an aspirin so we can still have sex."