I love this stuff.

Here’s my tummy for #TummyTuesday 😌

[yelling in the middle of a stand up comedian’s joke] I’m liking your telling of this joke right now!

I hate my fond memories.

Imagine if you got into an uber and it was the fastest car of all time 😍

Not my fucking job 🖕

Dasha’s hitched.

Bush = pubic hair

Is it cool if we giggle sometime soon?

Argh. I just got so pissed off thinking about all the mistakes that have been made.

I hope that husbands and wives get divorced soon.

I love my sniveling little worm.

If a gorgeous alien came into my life tomorrow I would marry them in one hypergalactic parsec

New Pope Chicago Funny

The new pope I just created is interesting.

The new pope should show us his thang. #ShowUsThePopeMeat

If a Pope ever just whipped his big ole thang out for everyone to see, all other religions would instantly submit to him.