When Zhang Jiao and his Yellow Turbans send their peasants, they're not sending their best. They're sending peasants with lots of problems, and the peasants bring their problems across the Yangtze. They're bringing opium, they're bandits. And some, I assume, are good people.

Bruh

Let me tell you something folks, nobody has been treated worse on this battlefield than me. We crushed Lü Bu at Xiapi, total victory, beautiful victory, I reminded that sly Cao Cao about our deal at least a dozen times. 'Hey Cao, you promised me Qin Yilu's wife, the lovely Lady

The Sages said they've never seen an emperor defeat the jian'an plague like my body did. They tested my Qi flow to see what was going on and they couldn't find any Qi, all they found was Qing.

Folks, nobody had a fleet like mine. Hundreds, maybe a thousand junks, the biggest pirate armada the South China Sea ever saw. We took everything, forced the emperor to beg me to quit. And you know what they almost never mention? Me marrying my step-mother, Ching Shih. Smart

Look, Sun Quan tricked me into marrying his beautiful sister, Lady Sun, gorgeous, fiery, total knockout. People said, 'Perfect alliance, fantastic deal.' Total hoax! I go off on business and she runs off back to Wu, sails away, but first tries to kidnap my own kid. Can you

DOJ has since killed this link. This is what was there:

Politico.com: “A federal judge on Saturday ordered the immediate release of Adrian Conejo Arias and his 5-year-old son Liam...” Me: There should be a Grammy for best judicial ruling. You gotta read this.

A "bygone elite"? The central characters in this are the president and the world's richest man.

BREAKING: WOODSTOCK WILLIE PREDICTS AN EARLY SPRING! 🦫 🌼 Another great Groundhog Day in Woodstock, Illinois. Actor Stephen Tobolowski (Ned Ryerson) was awarded the key to the city and helped with the prognostication. Which Groundhog will be right this year??

this photo is insane

need ball handling? perimeter shooting? or maybe just some good vibes? come on down to the guard warehouse. plenty of guards here. look around and take your pick

Planning a European road trip, thoughts?

Hawks made the best deal of the trade deadline (via noplansjustvibes on bsky)

Illinois has long been a goat tower technology hub.

When the World Anti-Doping Agency asks if you injected hyaluronic acid in your hog:

The Pope being a college basketball sicko is the greatest development in the history of Catholicism.

This dude creates “One Last Breath” by Creed played on a Game Boy and it sounds sick

The not-Chicago Bears? Today the Bears released a statement saying how excited they were for their “vision” of a taxpayer-funded stadium in Hammond, INDIANA. Umm…nope. If you can’t afford to keep the team in Chicago, sell it. Period.

SO A NEIGHBOR KNOCKED ON MY FRONT DOOR AT 3AM…3AM!!!! LUCKILY I WAS ALREADY UP PLAYING THE BAGPIPES.