So you've got some A3-sized playing cards. Big deal.

Slightly disappointed that this isn't being shown on Dave.

Minute of Hillsborough silence impeccably observed by my lot. You would think it’s a given, but always good to witness.

Silly shite I did ages ago:

This bit from a review of food & drink at football grounds has always stayed with me.

The Vatican should just get Sam Allardyce in until the end of the year to steady the ship, before appointing a permanent replacement.

Due to a clause in the small print, if the papal conclave are deadlocked in their choice for a new Pope, we face the terrifying prospect of Louis Walsh being given the casting vote.

“What, me? Yep, productive morning alright. VERY productive as it goes” (Spent an hour and a half pondering what my snooker walk-on music would be) (It’s Time Bomb by Rancid)

That somewhat disappointing moment when you see that Jim Davidson is trending, but "freak steamroller accident" isn't.

Just think of all the thousands of pints of John Smith's bitter being quaffed up and down Ireland this St George's Day.

It's often said that Shakespeare was born and died on the same date. Now, whether you like his stuff or not, you have to admit that's a shitload of work to bang out in 24 hours.

I bet it isn't his wife and children

Cody Gakpo revealed a t-shirt after he scored yesterday, with the slogan “I BELONG TO JESUS” on it. Surely that contravenes the third-party ownership rules brought in after the Carlos Tevez affair.

I had all the windows open today to get a bit of a breeze going, and while I was playing some music, the living room door slammed shut at the exact moment that opening snare drum crashes in the intro to She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult, and I have genuinely never felt more alive.

CHER: Do you believe in life after love? SUSIE DENT: Absolutely not.

The Bastardometer in Sean Bean’s house has exploded. #TheFootball

Kudos to the bird that managed to shit an image of itself onto this bloke's car.

See, big man, politics is harder than you thought.

Happy Easter everyone!! #JuneThe12th #BigEars Dawn French 💙🔴🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🇵🇸

Nice offer on Amazon - if you buy all Adam & The Ants sheet music, they'll throw in a stand & deliver.