I'm no monster, I won't say I hope anyone dies. Let's just say there are some graves I can't wait to piss on once they have the death they've rightfully earned.

Imagine how much you would have to suck to be able to not do your job for four years while simultaneously working yourself to death.

It's telling that mail-in ballots can be tossed out immediately due to a simple signature mismatch while, meanwhile, I don't recall ever having credit card debt immediately dismissed over a signature mismatch.

Friendly reminder Big Trouble in Little China is supposed to be pronounced with a Chinese accent so 'Trouble' and 'China' rhyme. Shit, wait...

The hardest lesson of 2020 is discovering it's easier to stage a coup against the electorate than it is to announce you broke up with Pete Davidson.

Jaws.

I'm missing the days of feeling lonely due to my overbearing personality and not feeling lonely due to living in a disease-ridden, unstable Nazi paradise.

I'm thinking about getting into Twitter again.

The Portrait of Deplorian Gray.

Imagining feeling like Facebook isn't racist enough that you need Parler.

I, for one, I'm waiting for Matt Gaetz and Tiffany Trump to once and for all pull of those latex suits and reveal which Wayans Brothers have been pranking us this whole time.

I've lost so many family members to the Coronavirus. It's so sad. They didn't die, they were just anti-mask. They're dead to me. It's still kinda sad.

Put me in the "I wished he'd concede peacefully but, if not, I hope he's in deep pain once he's forcefully dragged out" category.

On the news that Alec Baldwin and Kelsey Grammar are in talks to do a sitcom together i can't help but think.. "Oh I hear the rapists calling, racists and scrambled rape..."

Whiter World.

If you feel more threatened by Harry Styles wearing a dress than you do by your neighbors flying a Nazi flag, your opinion doesn't matter anymore.

It's the year 2023. President Biden gives the US Medal of Freedom to every white person who said "Imagine if a black person did this" between the years 2016 and 2021.

"I wish my shit had a dick so I could blow it." - Matt Gaetz

When is 2023, and your "liberal" friends on Facebook are still posting, "If you're still a Trump supporter, please explain why..." It's okay to finally cut them loose if you haven't already.

"I'm only trying to OWN people." - Twitter