Microplastics in my lean

pen and paper

In 2023 spam will be what kale was in 2013

When you get a call that says “spam risk” that’s the spam company reminding you to eat so you don’t risk your health

Glad to see this making the rounds again

What about king jizzard? Is that something?

Flossing your teeth is a myth

I’m so happy to finally be working my dream job (collecting unemployment)

I’m not “unemployed” I’m a professional musician who the government pays half my old wages to

Oh the banks are collapsing? Good thing I only have $80 in my account

Lenny

I’ve eaten enough fast food in my 27 years on this planet to kill a small East Asian country

Which way, western man?

Guy who only sees viral videos in 2023 on Tosh.0

I spent three days in jail for a dui last year and the whole time one of the dudes in my cell was reading the novelization of jack reacher