That one Roman historian that never gets the plaudits:

A trouserful.

I finished Joe Pickett yesterday, which I started before knowing it got cancelled after two seasons and so several major storylines were not resolved and never will be. I feel cheated, like I did with Marco Polo. And the Borgias.

Whereas I am the Tit King.

Jizzard - One who, despite giving the appearance of having no control, does in fact magically pull out in time.

"And I will turn you into fishers... of MEN!" said Jesus, with a little wink.

Your dad, surprised on his holiday in Thailand.

I'm 6'3 and 14 stone, so technically I am overweight, but in fairness, most of the excess is cock.

Given that he ends up firing almost everyone he appoints, not sure this is the best call... BBC News - Trump wants to pick Iran's new leader - will a hostile regime under fire agree? bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

It's spelt 'faeces'.

The shitting scene at the start of Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, seemed unnecessary.

I think these breakfast baps send a powerful message to the US that retain the ability to continue this conflict.

I also appear to have three 'Botham's Cock's in the fridge.

*that I retain..

I'm the feet of modern Britain

"And on Saturday Kitchen this morning our guest is Dante Alighieri, and he'll be talking about his new book and telling us his food Hell..."

I'm the grandson of an illegal immigrant and I am the huge pendulous nut sack of modern Britain.

"I'm really looking forward to getting a taste of Rory's stress free meat." I'm sure they do it on purpose.

This is the cock of modern Britain!

Whatever the fuck it told me.