*The Crystal Guard do NOT get a snack stipend when on detached duty..they are issued MREs which have expired sticks of gum and Wonderbolts cards from 28 years ago.*

*inspecting a dozen of the most perfect crystals in the empire. * Can you bring back sample #2?

*taps it with a tiny hammer and listening to the tone it produces. * yes this one. *waits until the other ponies leave the room before he shatters the crystal. *

*scoops up the fine white powder and pours it into Princess Cadance’s coffee * Well it’s cheaper than paying the whale ponies for sugar.

*Never should have approved the exclusive contract for importation of Sugar Tea and Mums to the whale ponies. *

*Has no idea on what to get Princess Cadance for hearts and I hooves day. * * panicked Pony noises *

*Panic shopping for hearts and hooves day presents. * no it’s not chocolate enough…do you have a double black hole chocolate?

* Picks up to inter dimensional unicorn helpline* Prince Shining Armor, what is the nature of your unicorn emergency? … uh-huh have you tried erecting a impenetrable force field over your city? * has one trick and he tries it on everything. *

* With Princess Celestia out catting around the other royals have to pick up the slack.* umm okay that won’t work you are 5 and don’t have a city, try some fresh grass sugar, cubes if you have any, fresh clean water and nose pets.

*sitting in a small cubicle with a magic mirror* Inter dimensional Unicorn helpline, this is Prince Shining Armor. What is the nature of your Unicorn emergency? *still filling in * uh huh black, leatheren wings, mmm flaming red eyes, oh wants to borrow a chalice of tears?

Have you tried an impenetrable force field over your city? Oh he’s already inside your castle… well okay put him on.

Oh, how’s it going Vince? Yea it’s been forever since school. Yes I am still with Princess Cadance got a foal. … So why do you want a cup of pure maiden’s tears?

What no! It won’t make your horn bigger. Okay please stop listening to that fox he is not a credible news source. Yea he’s a real piece of work you should hear what he’s telling people about de-worming paste. Yea go ahead and give her a ride.

Miss… please stop laughing. *really feels for Vince some ponies take centuries to grow large horns* it’s not that small. Yes he’s going to give you a ride for all your trouble please don’t laugh at him. He is really sensitive about it.

* His family has always been gifted with long horns. *

*Patf* Oh, sorry didn’t mean to intrude. * Stares for a few seconds at Spike Dragon and Captain Spitfire cuddling together. Teleports out. Doesn’t judge. *

*Prince Con is not nearly as exciting as Princess Con. Well it’s not been since Prince Blueblood took over the programming. there’s only so many ways that one can attempt to prove one’s horn is larger than everyone else’s. *

*Passes a law against sniffing apple in the crystal empire. * There we go, got to think of the public good corvid 19 is still a thing.

*Reading the crystal empire Shipping Manifest* Hmm it looks like Ruby Tuesday is down 63 units this month, we should send her and Tourmaline a box of chocolate and some flowers.

*Takes the romantic level of the Empire seriously. *