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Ay nigga don't hate me cause I'm beautiful nigga. Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut, you'd get some bitches on yo dick. Oh, better yet, maybe Tanisha'll call your dog ass if she stops fuckin' with that brain surgeon or law

Tony stark stumbles over, desperately trying to escape until... thanos enters the room. He unzips his trousers and lifts his gauntlet.

It's horrendous and ugly. I hate it. The point of emojis is to show emotions, but what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think "wow, I really feel like a massive fucking stone today"? It's useless. I hate it.

My friend and I were in the sauna and he gets an idea that we should see which one of us could make our balls clap louder by hip thrusting back and forth and I was like "yeah haha let's do that!"

Gollum leaned back against the rock, the surface cold and scratchy against his overheated skin. He was ready to die. Die for this. "My precious"

Felix🍀, I just saw the sub🚇 count stream.🏞️ From the bottom⬇️ of my hear♥️, I am sorry.😌 Sorry😣 that we👬 failed you, sorry😪 that we let a company🏗️ that makes songs🎵 that most of us don’t understand🤔 beat you.😭 If there is any hope🕯️ left, I put all my faith in it.🛐

So my cat, Franki, recently came down with a pretty severe stomach virus. The vet gave me some anti biotic drops to put in his food but when I’d do that Franki wouldn’t touch it. So, the vet suggested using a small dropper tube to insert the medicine directly into his anus.

Billie Eilish is such a fucking idiot I hate her so fucking much. She was LITERALLY born into the music industry, and grew up in an area of LA where people like Skrillex and Beck came from. Her brother is a fucking professional music producer yet people still want to sit around

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i wanna fuck Garfield.

Chillin' with some bad hair, cover it up, put a bad hat on You know I can always be that guy Sell you a better hat that will last you long But I think you need something to pay me Something that will keep your hair from showing and see that your hat can be more than #Endgame

mom didn't let me play minecraft so I took out a goddamn tortilla and cracked up some eggs on than poured first milk and then the cereal. She was crying, I said "this is just a warm up!"

🆗 son, 🌞 there ain't❌❌a ☝single☝fucking☝person☝ with any intellect👓👓📖who gives a 🎮remote🎮fuck🎮about your extensive vaping💯😎💨 talent. 😂

Today, I’m going to tell you a tale of a national hero. A real man’s man. He goes by the name of Daniel Jones.

OAHAMANANSNAJANNASNANANNA MAH FIRST GOLD I JSUT SHAT DIARRHHEA ALL OVER MY HOUSE AND I JUST USED IT AS A JETPACK TO BOMB DIARHHEA TURDS INTO A SMALL UGANDAN VILLAGE THANK U GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I JUST BOMBED CHILDREN

#تركيا ياترى .. ماذا رأى ؟ ومن الذي سارع فقبّله مرتين قبل لفظ أنفاسه ؟ الله يغفر له ويرحمه ويدخله الفردوس الأعلى .. اللهم إنّي اسألك حسن الخاتمة لي ولمن أحبهم فيك ولك ..

Vad är det som händer i sthlm watta