Have any of you guys ever done a tequila cleanse?

Nihilism doesn’t matter y’all

French bulldogs are the Yeti Coolers of dogs hammy

Instagram selfies are the new cigarettes

The only thing better than brunch, is gay brunch

Yo dude. Who was farting on the dance floor?

Remember.. no claws when you’re drinking laws

Y’all are gonna disagree with me because you’re uncultured. But Mayor Guy Fieri is the one who SINGLE ARMIDLY made sleeves cool

I mean, eating a microwaved corndog isn’t the best. But it’s better than NOT having a corndog

Come on everybody. Lemme get one more follower.. wanna hit that “69” followers mark

If found, please return to Panda Express

“So me and some friends are heading over Panda Express later to grab some drinks… Wanna join?”

Poppin with cats, AMIRITRE?!

Yo, what’s good? Hit me up with any question and I’ll have the answer faster than you can say ‘David GPT. 🤙🔥#AI #QuestionMaster #DavidGPT

Jesus died for my sins, so I can have that DAWG in me #blessup

I really thought I was a good golfer, until I kept golfing

All Christmas music is fan service

Bon Iver is Frank Ocean for white people

A two person flash mob, in an empty bar #whosin

I’m just gonna keep shitting in airplane bathrooms until they stop me