wearing all my Christmas gifts at once

My Wife: “Did you eat my milk duds?” Me: (chewing for 48 seconds) “I don’t appreciate your accusations.”

i have a long apple note titled "epistemic humility" that i will never clean up to the point where i post it, but it boils down to this: when your subconscious believes something, it will manipulate your perception of reality to reinforce your belief that you're right

you will get farther in one week paying close, nonjudgmental attention to the unmet needs underlying your "bad" behavior than you will in a year of punishing yourself and demanding you become a different person.

Swifties in 2023: Welp, guess I gotta follow football now Swifties in 2025:

Immature men look for mothering from their girlfriends when they should be looking for a woman who contains the Great Father: grounded in herself, principled, expresses her yes/no very clearly. Immature women look for a father in their boyfriends when they should be looking for a

That time Joe Montana figured out he could call his wife from the sideline phone 🤣

This has to be the most ingenious way I’ve ever seen to keep a toddler busy. Mom of the year award right here! 😍

"yassified to maintain anonymity" is one of the greatest linguistic innovations of the century

Craziest part about finally "doing the work" Is that you realize it was easier to simply do the work than it was to feel bad about procrastinating 24/7 and live with the excuses You literally put more effort into avoiding success than the success would have taken Crazy

If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I keep doing this? I hate it.” Look for shame. Whatever you shame, you repeat.

i regret to inform you that personal growth rarely comes from acquiring new knowledge and always from periods of intense humility i.e your ego finally relenting.

i dabbled in hats in the last months of 2025, but in 2026 i am getting serious about headwear

A huge thing for me in adulthood has been realizing that I can just “act normal” to the best of my ability and not worry about it beyond that. As in: try to be kind, polite, considerate, not hurt anyone if possible, be willing and able to engage in conflict with people I love.

ngl the day I brought home a skip-it is the day I realized my children could not have kept up with me when I was their age. they were amazed like “HOW are you doing that so easily!!??” smh this is one of the many ways i have failed as a parent

The other night my little girl told me her hands were stinky so we got her all cleaned up and I asked if she would like some of my special L’occitane lotion that I keep by the bed. “It’s for ladies,” I told her with ceremonious tones. So now, the last thing she does after I have

i love my feral little goblin life and I don’t wanna go back 😭

I Meme Therefore I Am 🇺🇸 Venezuelans free from the warmth of collectivism..