the hottest thing a man can be is a little afraid of me

I’m actually pretty chill considering I’m an insane woman

im in my pjs watching the sopranos, eating rigatoni w/ olive oil, and im googling fucked up things w/ the word reddit after. snow hasn't even hit the ground yet

All these Charlie Kirk posters are reallllllll silent right now!!!!!

doing a repetitive hand craft while listening to an audiobook (getting told a story) over the sound of a crackling fire activates my bronze age brain. I enter a flow state

missing boston market mac n’cheese like a motherfucker rn

when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth. no grave can hold my body down. i’ll crawl home to her

me cursing the pats so they didnt win the superbowl because someone wronged me and it worked

Pleading insanity to a traffic violation

I was so cool & normal today I hardly got corrupted by the cursed amulet at all

do something FBI NATO God

I can’t stop thinking about the little monkey punch being bullied I must do something

I've faced more peer pressure to eat protein as an adult than I did to take drugs in my teens.

"nerd" I say with barely concealed lust.

a beautiful chinese woman named Deer Xing is communicating with me through road signs

a man is nothing without his taylor swift obsessed girlfriend

Make the Microsoft CEO search for an email on Outlook live on camera