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The world's biggest bellend competition reaches the closing stages as the two finalists are announced;

Mopping up pigs in blankets and black pudding from the freezer, Sainsburys beans (try them), fresh crispy egg and jersey butter on the toast. Not pretty but Jesus it tasted good.

🥰😎

It’s WARRRRRRR

Thread of funny Memes by Xavier to make your day🔥🔥 1. Oh No 😂

Both snoring upon my ascendance to my scratcher Ffs….

Fantastic use of an old wheelie bin here 😂

I have the most appreciative clients …

Off down “the smoke” before hopping on the big silver bird with wings that don’t flap, first thing in the morning. But first, a pint in Donny’s finest! The Draughtsman on platform 3b

Fab bar, Adnams Ghost ship refreshing and great music, if you like modern jazz

Can you guess the significance of this bus seat?

It’s a tough life, on the road!! Traverse City, I’ve been splendid. Now off to Holland 😎🍷

Shrimp tacos, margarita paddles and fabulous company

An hour to kill after a long flight before facing a long train ride home. 3.5 hours and 3 stops instead of 1.2 hours and direct. The only thing to do is get a fabulous extra spicy Bloody Mary at one of Londons hidden gems.

The wanderer returns 🦔❤️

Happiest of birthdays to my old arse kicker, Alan Pritchard

Phenomenal 😂😂😂😂

Completely misunderstood pride month. Who wants to buy 15 lions?