had an absolute blast co-writing this with the badass Lydia Horne remember pals! knee pads are NON-NEGOTIABLE 😤

New PCP thinks my name is Linda Horny smh I hate healthcare in this country

Can’t make this shit up🌈

All I need in this life of sin is a full access JSTOR account

There’s no place like home for the interregnum

On mentoring: Nick once helpfully explained that long-term career goals are irrelevant because we'll all be replaced by robots soon. No being--sentient or otherwise--can replace you Nick, thank you for the past four years.

Nothing more sobering than witnessing two ambulances rolling out gurneys on my evening walk. Stay vigilant, folks

This will go down in one of the craziest photos in American history. The scattered papers indicating a rushed departure. The posing for a selfie. The MAGA, terrorist, and Daniel Boone aesthetic. WTF is going on with America rn?

Have now received four calls from a glatt kosher meat delivery service that insists my name is Brandon and my brisket order has arrived

Bring on the abstract essays *exploring* metaphor of Bernie meme then pls god let's all stop

Apple Support really doing the most

Memoirs of an Art Bro

"Blood captures the pervasive anxiety among artists to endure through their work even after they’re gone." My story for @artpapers studies artists past/present who use blood as a vessel (sry) for expression. artpapers.org/bleeding-out-o…

In recent weeks, ⁦Lydia Horne⁩ drove around Los Angeles in her 2018 Ford Focus invoking the legacy of Jimmy Buffett by asking dining establishments a simple question: Why isn't there salt on their tables anymore? Read more in ⁦L.A. TACO🌴🌮⁩ lataco.com/salt-shakers-r…

After complaining for years, I finally looked into the case of the missing salt shaker. It's still a mystery, but here are a few clues.

My intrepid pal Lydia Horne had the guts to ask: Where did all the salt shakers go?! lataco.com/salt-shakers-r…