There's been some weird spam thing getting posted from my account every night for the last week and a half or so claiming you can get Venmo'd for taking surveys? It's not real, but also, @TwitterSupport hasn't helped me stop it at all, which is great.

b-boy bouiebaisse If you prefer pumpkin spice over apple cider you’re the feds

Please God no

one taught me love, one taught me patience, one taught me pain

Supreme is just new Aeropostale

Tag yourself, I’m Bobson Dugnutt

Come on kombucha, we really gotta work on this slogan.

The “Robinson overcrowding debacle” has proven a long-suspected theory of mine: most people have absolutely no idea how to walk in large crowds.

This is continuing an amazing trend of workers unionizing in new companies and I’m all for it!

Amazon is pulling out of New York, but it will keep grifting taxpayers elsewhere bit.ly/2Gpb5IL

Should’ve been Best Picture but I’ll take it

I’ve been listening to Greg Miller on podcasts for a decade, and now, I listen to Kinda Funny every day. What an awesome time getting to meet all of them yesterday as part of the #KFWorldTour!

This is big: @Amazon warehouse workers plan to strike on #PrimeDay to protest dangerous working conditions, unfair scheduling, and impossible demands, These men and women are standing up for what’s right. Let's show our support for them! bloom.bg/2NRcYSS

repeating to my self in the mirror "Star wars is for adults" before seeing the final one & having a violent reaction like ingesting a poison

"Hand sanitizer? I hardly know her!" Is that something?

And we laughed

Luke Waltermire Is this frame too ornate?

My favorite hometown ice cream shop has officially framed a tweet of mine. Is this what it feels like to peak?

THE DUNE TRAILER

this is the worst panic at the disco song title i’ve ever seen