turned 27, released a book to replace the Argos catalogue and got spoiled rotten by these rotters!!! 💖

I feel like I have just got lost in your Dad's brain - WHERE AM I WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?

Please someone take one for the team and take Q Anon on a nice big trip to laser quest

It’s so nice to be writing again! And so nice to have any amount of smoke up my arse!

BBC News has officially reached peak voxpop.

Is anyone having trouble getting a covid test? I’d like to hear that 300 times within the hour please. Also dying to know if anyone is finding all this inconvenient

Does not get old

An overall indication of my productivity this period would be that I just googled Zuma Rossdale to see how he’s getting on after breaking his arms

@SarahRoberts___ Reminds me of the time I was at a girls’ party where we were showing each other our exes. His pic was his newly minted wedding portrait. And somehow I accidentally tagged myself. As his wife. In his wedding photo. Typing this from beyond the grave because obviously I died.

MTS for president! nytimes.com/2020/10/13/opi…

This from Liz Kingsman is a sublime mashup of my the 300 hours of telly on my Netflix homepage RN. Touch it with your eyes... in the future but also in the past in a simulation of space.

Have started showering with my iPhone just to feel something

Lockdown procrastination lowpoint: finding myself on a farm in Norwich google streetview stalking a woman who sold me a coat on Ebay

This pool, at Embassy Gardens in Nine Elms, cannot be accessed by those living in the shared ownership part of the development ....

Banner ads on news sites are the worst on so many levels.

Sublime

‘Either you are running for food or you are food.’ Really reassuring stuff from the person determining the course of human history

Apparently there are quite a lot of deleted tweets like this. But even if some of the details are wrong and no crime was committed, it’s all in the public interest, says Harry

HELP TESSA WE DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

A dementia diagnosis means you can get the support you need. If you, like Charlie, notice changes in your loved ones, it could be a sign of dementia. Show them your support and use our symptoms checklist at alzheimers.org.uk/sports. #SupportTheSupporters