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i will make every male character i like butch sorry but they’re mine now

why can’t i c*m in my gf GOD DAMMIT

is it really hateful conduct if i’m talking about myself

i love my girlfriend so fucking mcudhfbfbfbdbbdbd

i really like that “clanker” is making its way into mainstream vocabulary

bro :—)) how does a family like mine even come into existence

“and it sucks to sleep cuz you aren’t talking to me” yeah

i am having so much fun looking up birds while listening to my gf tell me about them life is beautiful ❤️

“how about i leave and never come back” mom i just asked you not to fucking yell at me that’s all i want

i was friends with someone like this before finding out the hard way that she was pure evil

my girlfriend saying “you know you’re so handsome right?” on facetime and i turn into a blubbering blushing mess that can’t think of what to say or accept the compliment because it made me so damn dizzy

“They fly now?!” “They fly now???” “They fly now. 😐” SHUT UP THIS IS THE WORST STAR WARS MOMENT LIKE EVER OF COURSE THEY FLY THEYRE DERIVED FROM MANDALORIANS WHY MUST WE IGNORE THE ANCIENT TEXTS

just so everyone knows what i thought of fantastic four, i got in my car and listened to the superman soundtrack afterwards (and also sent a 20 minute rant to my wife)