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My body trying to relax during a massage: My brain during a massage: How many people die a year due to massages?

I swear someone be breaking into my house and stealin my phone chargers 😩

This air quality advisory is givin me Hurricane Sandy vibes with a splash of covid lockdown

Finna to enter that “fuck it, ima dye my hair blue” era

Someone said I dress like Adam Sandler but I’m not mad

This weather forecast keeps playin with my emotions

The Sun is fighting for its dear life to come out right now 😩

I been studying the weather forecast like I got money on the line

This holiday weekend better be holidaying because these work days are work daying a lil too hard 😅

Ice spice’s weaves be makin me mad

I haven’t drank water in like a month kinda

Does the water from the ice cubes of my spicy margaritas count?

I call it the office party test: If you don’t think he’ll be able to hold his own at your office holiday party, he ain’t the one sis

Gotta love a “text me when you’re home” type nigga

Falling for a man with a futon as a couch is crazyyyy

Waiting for that “I have someone I’d like you to meet” opportunity but y’all want me to die alone

My liver wants to file for a divorce 😩

The amount of men who have doodle dogs is alarming

Y’all Christmas pajamas were wrinkled yesterday