When the captain lets you steer the boat for a minute because it's your birthday.

Annie Segarra So much this! It's why the idea of "overcoming disability" is so toxic. I can't overcome my body just learn to live in it!

These door handles keep grabbing my dressing gown loops.

Aside from last one...Was Tony Blair the last PM we actually voted in? *phones D. Icke*

I enjoy Horticulture. As a word. I have no idea what it means. Milking goats and planting I think Horticulture.

This again. youtu.be/y7Sp_J-3WW8

I have finally shodded/shad my original belly button. Shidden? Shadded? Shod? Oh for fucks sake.

Shed

.Sainsbury's "listen up"? Really?

Don't miss episode 1 of BARBARA NICE tonight at 10pm on BBC Radio 2! Created, Written & Performed by the wonderful mrs barbara nice !

What does Trump say when he's just trumped? Pardon me, I just me'd? Personally, I think there's too much lead in the water.

What's going on with the algorithms? Did one trump gag and now whole time line full of trump...not in time. #bubbleboy

Wife & I are doing our bit for the environment by not flushing during the night. Results in unwelcoming rich broth & fearing for our health

I voted. I got

Last photo was actually me. First time ever. Ruined a fantasies I know. Sparked more than a few more I shouldn't wonder hey guys?

Eeew. Next doors security light came on while I was peeing in my own garden. Dirty bastards.

My fingertips smell of meat.

Elon Musk burped today. Just wanted to make sure you knew.

I'm going to be nice from henceforth. I think henceforth is a long way to say now. No more ridicule.

Now I understand.