You are not the king of your brain. You are the creepy guy standing next to the king going "a most judicious choice, sire".

editor: you got the pictures from the steve buscemi shoot? photographer: sure did boss. real fucking sexy just like you asked editor: what

What if Stuart Little had an evil counterpart called Steven Riddle

oh no

brb have to run around Brooklyn screaming this headline in people's faces like Billy Eichner

everyone else: Centrifugal Faith Hill: Centrivical

If everyone would just appreciate this tweet

When my therapist picks up the notepad to write something down

is the pollen count 9000 today

this is the funniest thing i have ever seen how have i not known about this for four and a half years

It’s a great day for your elders to tell you ‘you look tired today’

New run of prints just went live over on lauramipsum.bigcartel.com

Laura Dern dropped out of college because UCLA would not allow her to take a leave of absence to film "Blue Velvet." She gave David Lynch's script to the head of the film department in order to convince him, but he fired back at her: “First of all, if you make this choice, you