would love to someday live in a house that could get properly raided. you could raid my shit top to bottom in like 5 minutes

say what you will about LA but its the #1 city in the world for walking to a gas station, buying a can of diet mountain dew, & then walking next to the freeway

let's face it: i would look amazing w a male ponytail

omg i would be so pissed if i were an air molecule at the top of earth's atmosphere. like bitch when am i gonna get breathed ???

just noticed the knockoff mucinex i’ve been using glows in the dark. fabulous

gay guys typically don’t go see “The Fall Guy” — however i’m different

the number of ancient swords available on ebay for $30 would simply surprise you

every spider in LA is the dumbest bitch alive. honey you do not need to build a web across the doorway of a grocery store. that’s not gonna work mama

i honestly love forever chemicals. god forbid something in this life be permanent

my new “smart” beard trimmer wants to connect to wifi. honey do ur thing!

would love to be a 5th SATC girl who loses it and disappears after 1 season because im the only one who can hear the super loud utensil sounds coming from nearby tables at lunch

yes — i should allow this candle website to send me push notifications

omg do NOT put “pines” in the vowel rearranging machine

it’s SO intimate & hot to drive in someone’s blind spot. like yea i’m here… do u trust me??

when i did this i barely got any press

woke up & noticed a dead centipede on my pillow, right next to my face. relieved i could be there for her in her final moments

what if this was all from one bird

my childhood ❤️❤️❤️ one time i saw a horse attack a chevy silverado & the horse won

replacing my severely cracked windshield with a beautiful 13th-century mosaic stained glass fixture rescued from a church in naples. i won’t be able to see the road but honey i’ll see god. and that’s enough

this is so relatable