I hate 5 #Nathans hotdogs today and will be sleeping on the toilet tonight. Happy #NationalHotDogDay

I haven’t posted in a while but this is worth it. I dreamt I was in jail and my cellmate was OG Mickey. I had trouble coping with my first night and I stayed up crying. Kristen got out of her bunk and sang me lullabies while giving me a backrub to help me sleep. #BestDreamEver

I don't ever want to be known as the guy 'with,' so I will never have to be known as the guy 'without.'

I don't ever want to feel like I did that day, take me to a place I love, take me all the way.

I don't smoke or have tattoos. #Loser #Minority

Reaching new heights.

Only I could go to an awesome bar and still feel like I haven't gone out. #BondOnABike

Waiting impatiently for my #AppleWatch

Your #ThirdDimension is giving me a #3rdDimension

Yeah, nearly a day goes by when I don't consume a little food or even more. #Addict

@ROBERTinHERSHEY Great quote from the man who brought me Reading Rainbow. I liked him as Geordi LaForge in StarTrekTNG. I never saw Roots...

#CageTheNipple

Sometimes you just have to pick your lunch choice based on the cheapness of achieving a mind altering state. #Hooters

Pants. Off.

I am a man, the champagne of genders.

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If I was a professional golfer, my nickname would be 'the Crowd Clubber.'

Here's how I know I'm white... When I throw paper towels into the trash can like a basketball, I still yell "#Kobe!"

"Life begins when you have hit rock bottom." Forget that, I started a long time ago. #RockBottomBrewing

Fine motor skills developed from an era of being modern Sapiens led me to mixing #Hooters sauce eloquently into my BlueCheese dipping sauce.