I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page.

To everyone who says that mental illness is the problem, not guns: - Mental illness is everywhere, mass shootings aren't. - The mentally ill are more likely to be victims of violence, not perpetrators of it. - If you believe this, then you should support universal healthcare

Who is this serving? Who is this protecting?

BROwling 🎳 instagram.com/p/BCRh0ZJj9Jl/

H(late, per usual)BD!!! I wouldn't want to adventure with anyone else. You're a pain, but you're… instagram.com/p/BDT1o79j9GD/

Prepare yourself for some uncensored sentiment. I am so incredibly thankful for this group of… instagram.com/p/BEZwnmVj9BS/

Our senior PLCs today at the end of year lunch. Our program wouldn't be the same without your awesome work 🎉🎈

Pete Rose said "I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball". I might subject… instagram.com/p/BFB8Z-Uj9F0/

Kim Kardashian girl what do you have on trump do him next

I just called a toothbrush a "toothpaste kabob," because I am slowly transforming into my father and it's terrifying. Please help me.

[plant facts!!] bananas are technically berries almonds are seeds avocados are mammals most cucumbers are haunted potatoes aren't even real

Somebody OUGHTA GO BACK AND READ THE FIRST WORD OF MY TWEETS FOR THE LAST WEEK.

Someone was just sitting at a traffic light in Minneapolis like "ok but what does purple mean"