I’m in the quiet car of a crowded train. A large bee boarded at the previous stop. Everybody is silently watching as it makes its way down the car, periodically swooping down and terrorizing people as it goes. Not sure if this is scary or hilarious.

I'm sorry my twitter page isn't more interesting

Reminder: Tomorrow is April 1st. 5 years ago my friend John posted a video tutorial of what to do to prepare for the day. Here it is.

just realized that australian sporks vary slightly from american sporks. Hhhhhhmmm. Potential thesis topic???

I have a twitter account???

Been getting lots of hateful tweets lately. @JohnnyMercerMP you're welcome for shielding your account from this nonsense. Nice name.

@no2tories I wouldn't know. Presumably one with a great head of hair. JACK 💯%, thanks!! I assure you I am NOT @JohnnyMercerMP