Stuffed my cheeks so full of cookies that my face id didn’t work

One Battle After Another was sick as fuck, not often a nearly 3 hour movie feels fast and intense all the way thru. It felt frantic in the best way and had its fair share of funny ass moments. Every time Leo is on a phone call is gold

Called a 65 yr old male cashier “girl” and he snapped my credit card in half out of rage, jokes on him it was stolen anyway and I got my groceries for free

They call me cheesy bc I’m doing cardistry with Kraft singles

Fun fact if your boss is 15 minutes late to work you’re allowed to leave

Have been asked if I’m a lesbian, bisexual, and queer this month. Only need the G and the T and I think that’s bingo babyyy

Ran a microwave for 4 hours just to see what would happen, I’m diff now

Baseball is so fucking cool, what other sport is like this

What the fuck dude, rose byrne is a god

I’ve heard it’s a great time to fly rn, got an insane deal too like $6 flight to NYC. They said I get to help out and try being an “airtraffic” controller, I’m a gamer so I can probably use it just fine🤣 #flyinghigh

Knight has been killing, Bishop gets a few laughs, Rook maybe a nosy exhale, but Pawn either has ppl stare in confusion until they get it or they become irrationally angry

You are not a slytherin you are 31 years old plz stfu

Rage baiting on xmas eve by going to grocery stores and loudly saying “happy holidays” to every old white person I can find. It’s a classic and never fails

Yeah Timothée Chalamet is the truth dude, MARTY SUPREME fucking rocks and I’m gonna watch everything he makes/stars in for the rest of my life. Not often you can see one of the greats entering their prime and know it. What a stressful fucking movie (complimentary in the best way)

Said “idatakimasu” before eating a girl out chat am I cooked

Being on Twitter is like willingly eating poison bc it tastes good every 49th bite and only kills you super slowly in a funny way

This movie was sick, visually stunning I need to watch again

Put your phone on disturb me please I’m trying to reach you

Iron Lung was a very fun watch, really loved the effects and sound design. Definitely going to try the game bc of it lmaooo

Why does every tech company want my data? It’s bad data, it literally sucks and you’re gonna hate it I promise you. No one likes my data, my computer and phone yell at me everyday bc the data they collect is so ass pls leave me alone