I’m going to start tweeting again because I need a void to complain into

Enough with the Smart appliances, my washer and dryer do not need access to reddit

I rate my level of ADHD flailing according to how many cups I’ve left around the house that day. Today was 8.

We still letting the government tell us what’s real in 2023?

nowplaying: "Awakening OD: Don't Be Corn" by Jessa Reed used to do stand up * I love how you know your homework and started with it like Bart Simpson writing phrases on the board, <3

Turkey is boring chicken

I’ve got some bad news

open.spotify.com/album/16wKlMUM…

this is going to ruin the tour

Why does Russell Brand always look like a donkey trying to eat a carrot through a fence?

unusual_whales Will the gov't offer us 3 months of free credit monitoring?

my favorite joke about standup comedians s/o Deric Poston & Ehsan Ahmad for having me on their podcast this week ☝️