Wearing my pre-7am chili like a badge of honor.

Max watched The Little Mermaid today and now keeps running around asking why he is "cursed with human legs".

3yo points at the toilet, then "Look at my wilderness stew!"

3yo, to our money tree: "You are my most favorite tree that I have ever seen. You have such pretty leaves and I just love you." 🌳💙🌏💚

On a walk with the 3yo yesterday: "A rabbit; I have to kick it." "Birds; I have to kick them." Just now, in the play kitchen: "Ding! I'm going to serve you for dinner. You will be delicious." -Brings mom a plate OF LITTLE PEOPLE. Should I be concerned?

When your 3 year-old doesn't get your 80s/90s TV/movie references.

Today, I decided to introduce the kiddos to Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. That man ate a banana with a piece of American cheese wrapped around it in the first episode. WAS THIS THE KIND OF CHAOS I WAS EXPOSED TO AS A CHILD?!

At what point do you stop your child from counting? He is at 298 right now and is not slowing down.

3yo (thinking he's) whispering to the 1yo: "your mom is SO WEIRD, Frankie". 😐

Max's latest nicknames for us: "Boomerack" (me) "Daddy Single Top Hat" (Dad) "Sliiiiider" (Frankie) I'm having an identity crisis.

"I'll eat two pieces of lunch and then I'll have pepperoni for dessert." Negotiations with 3 year-olds are tough.

We got to try out a #targetexclusive game #yougottabekittenme thanks to a gift from #StoneBlade & Tryazon! Family game night is always a hit but new games always make it better. This a bluffing game. I'm not great at lying but I'd like to think I excel at detecting. 🤓 #tryazon

A #WhoaDough On-the-Go get-together... yum! @woahdough_ gifted us these bars to try, partnered with @tryazon. They're vegan & gluten-free, so basically guilt-free, right? Kids were left unsupervised and ate so many that they went crazy, as you can see... #tryazon #snackhappy

We had a TON of fun last weekend playing w/ #thinkingputty, which was gifted to me by #CrazyAaron's Enterprises (@thinkingputty) in exchange for my honest review in collaboration with Tryazon. This stuff is a blast! There are doughy, putty, & slimy options! #ItBounces! #tryazon