the entire way i use twitter is i have everyone muted and just go through a trusted few people’s likes for cultivated content :(

Now they tryna say Phineas touched Ferb and that’s why he quiet

Is somebody gonna match my squeak?

How it feels to say you’re a fan of THE BEATLES

how awesome would it have been to have jury duty for some random ass case in new york this week, people asking you “omg are you on the Trump jury??” and you get to say “ahhhh idk I can’t say! 😉”

recently proclaimed myself “the Seto Kaiba of media planning” to very little fanfare from my asinine coworkers

Being in the office with no phone to goof around on must have been hell

Kira and L

How did she know

Apologies for low frame rate What happened here why did I die am I in my tech roll animation or double jumping? NERDS! 🗣️🛎️

this is like when someone threw a crab at hbox but missed

on the train home from Supernova about to get back at 1:30 and wake up my sleeping girlfriend like this to tell her how a donkey kong from virginia got 3rd and was in winners finals

this would’ve been me and jasper in doubles if we hadn’t forgotten to register

Love the new trend of beers that are just “for 20 calories less than our regular version, you can have The Worst Beer You’ve Ever Had”

The problem with new Spongebob is that the writers have abandoned the quiet dignity that Spongebob and his friends carried themselves with.

Millions must enroll.

Unchaining my fat son and letting him run around the house to piss off my wife

well.... Fuck