bitly.xaijo.com/TNTrLR You can't buy a woman's love but you can buy a woman's heart on the black market probably.

shorturl.xaijo.com/patrick Turn that baby's cry into a jazzy tune by putting a harmonica in it's mouth

I'm the cat whisperer. because I whisper, "I could kill you with my bare hands" to them daily. shorturl.xaijo.com/iva

bitly.xaijo.com/jeannette I'm opening up a Battered Shrimp Shelter in my stomach.

bitly.xaijo.com/yvonne Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

I killed someone with kindness today. Blood EVERYWHERE. tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/gladys

Bless me, Father, for I have used Comic Sans. It's been eight weeks since my last use of Helvetica. shorturl.xaijo.com/benita

googl.adultgalls.com/lessie How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence?

bitly.xaijo.com/latasha I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade

The Bible is subtitled "Shit My God Says". tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/norma

Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you? googl.adultgalls.com/josephine

tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/natalie If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many.

"It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/serena

go.bdsmgalls.net/claudette I'm the Jason Bourne of avoiding people I know at Starbucks.