I miss Jess.

michaelwalchalk's photo instagram.com/p/9zH9L6l0ls/ Will Forte look at this :) <3

I'm thankful for this box of rat poison I had for dinner.

Just tip me.

Having a squirt and vodka party at my house if anyone wants to join.

Jake Tahoe pumpkin spice

2016 year of the other hole.

I woke up thinking I was hung over, but then remembered I'm sick.

I thought that was a rat, good thing it was a cat.

@stepheniezapf bought a hat that must be for baby heads

Life is having diarrhea in an uber.

No one likes me but it probably doesn't help that I look like I grocery shop at a CVS.

I can't believe I got that much beauty rest and I'm still this ugly.

I feel like pokemon go is the new tinder.

Gotta keep my decomposure.

Beard trimmers broken. Guess I'm growing a beard.

Im american express. You're discover.

Every first friday im every one of my friends boyfriends.

Im late because my dog has diarrhea.

I had to labor today.