proud to announce that we have been hired to score the battle of 100 men vs a single gorilla

if you drink coffee and have a cigarette at the same time they both good for you.

drop ur starbucks order

back on my annoying shit

core memory

if u drink two beers out of one glass the body thinks it’s one

slurping in annoying af like take a big boy drink u jack ass

every day i think about the scene in Scooby doo where he pulls his tongue out and drizzles ketchup on it

glowing up in my late twenties so everyone i made the “if we’re not married by 30..” deal with has a hot husband

me when she-

my credit score went up who trynna get lit rn

i miss before covid when the krusty krab was open forever :/

i wonder if jack from titanic would’ve survived if he just hit the pen before

“idk where you align politically” is the new way to say “i agree with this guy”

there is so much peace in a kraft single

i wonder if they ever broke benjamin

everyone’s an activist until spotify wrapped comes out

me when i’m trying to even out the strings in my hoodie and i hear it scraping through the fabric

me when i smell bacon

boycotting companies that use AI in advertising for the rest of my life