Knowing that I've shaved, #tweezed my eyebrows, and had my #coffee in morning really makes me feel like I have my #life together. #adulthood

Nothing makes me more ready to head to the gym than an episode of #my600lblife 😳😒 #ThatWontBeMe #FitnessJourney #TotalBodyTransformation

Has anyone else ever noticed that all of the talking animals on TV have #British accents? #CheerioMate

I posted Mother May I?😍 on a pic of sexy #TimTebow signing with the #Eagles & my #mother comments on it & says Yes You Can😂 #unreal #dying

@Rac8man alright then, let me specify -- commercials* lol #touche

@Rac8man dear Lord.

@Rac8man I surrender.

Bitch, you're twelve -- You should be losing your teeth, Not your virginity. ✌🏼️

Mom told me theres an attractive state #cop coming to church now & I should look into it. I'm torn btwn being interested & shaking my head 😏

#cantstopsmiling

My life is all about #GoodVibes

Today, someone told me I should be an eye model. I'll take that. #GreenEyes #LargeWaist #MakesSense 😂👌🏼

I swear, trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9. #ERnurse #thingsIthink #patients

When you realize you dried your #spandex #workout pants & now you'll have to double up workouts just to fit into them again 😩 #shrinkage

When your jam comes on shuffle and you're lip-syncing into your straightener and you accidentally touch your lips 😳😭😫 #burn #stupidity

New #diet strategy -- no pants, no muffin top or buttoning issues. #problemsolved

All you ladies know what I'm talking about when #Flo is in town #cramping your style and you just wanna 😡😤🔪🔫🔪✂️🔚😡💥🔪🔫. #currentmood

My name is Jamie Wilcox -- And I am addicted to Bath & Body Works candles and soaps 😍😩☀️ #obsession #thatswhyIworkovertime #smellssogood

I regret to inform you all, there is no #turkey #emoji 😩 -- please, compensate with the 🍻🍷🍸 emoji's 🍴👊🏼

How did I miss that?! #youdabesssst x.com/swainylyn/stat…