Dear diary, Caroline is mad at me again, but in my defense I didn't know that thot meant hoe.

I'll give hell one thing: it doesn't have any shortage of crazy hot chicks. Emphasis on the crazy. But Kathy P is on her own level.

Dear Diary, Katherine is about to return from hell. When I see her should I offer her something cold to drink, or is that pushing my luck?

Dear Diary, I sacrificed myself to save my brother & kill Katherine.. Clearly I didn't think this through. Maybe Bennett can resurrect me.

Dear Diary, My humanity was off, and I killed Enzo. How do I tell the guys at Bonenzo Anonymous? Care will dump me, Matt will cry.

Dear Diary, x.com/uhgaiiavich/st…

Dear Diary, Care hired an Easter Bunny for the girls, but I didn't know & thought it was just a huge bunny.. Now I'm sleeping on the couch.

Dear Diary. Sorry I've been away so long, but Caroline wouldn't let me out of the cage... I mean bed.

Looking at Kai Parker tweets, I feel like he & I would get along. Give me a read, may help you to destroy Stefan & everything he loves.

Dear Diary, Bonnie threatened to lock me in a prison world.. how was I supposed to know following her & Enzo into the bedroom was a no go.

Dear Diary, Can you get sent to hell from heaven? If so.. I'm fucked.

Dear Diary, Saw Damon propose to Elena today.. He may have got the girl in the end, but we both know who's D she got first. Mine.

Dear Diary, Caroline still isn't talking to me. Maybe a giant snow globe of the town wasn't the best aneverseray gift..

Dear Diary, Is it wrong that we were all a lot happier when Elena was still in the coffin coma? #KnockTheBitchBackOut

Dear Diary, 'Tis me again. I'm on the couch once again tonight, but in my defense when Caroline said she wanted a dog, how was I supposed to know she didn't mean she wanted Tyler in a cage.. my bad.

Dear Diary, When Caroline was showing me pictures of our first year together and I said she looked fat, I honestly thought she was showing me one of her pregnancy photos.. my bad.

🙄 x.com/bunnygonerabid…

😬 x.com/vengefulfangs/…