*Wife comes over* Me: you farted? Wife: I thought you did. *Wife walks to other side of the room* Me: the smell has gone. Wife: it's my night dress, my night dress smells of farts. I'm so sorry!

Sarah just made the local Sainsbury's in Bispham smell like her night dress. A random man said wow that aisle smelt

.Robbie Fowler loving how well you're doing on bake off Rob!

Can we please cancel Craig Revel Horwood? Pretty please?

Last ever episode of #Trollied so sad to see you go, but if you must what a lovely ending. Jason Watkins if only we all had a manager like you!

#myweirdhobby when I was a smoker I would grind the ash and see how long it took to fill a mug.

Hey Just Eat UK so when the delivery doesn't deliver everything how do you justify not refunding the delivery fee? Absolutely shocking customer service and frankly a joke

#marveluniverselive

So the same uber driver that dropped me off to do the shopping just picked me up after the shopping and I don't think my life has ever felt this complete before.

Govia Thameslink: Justice for Belly Mujinga #JusticeforBellyMujinga - Sign the Petition! chng.it/r4jzNgZX via Change.org UK

x.com/alreadytaken74…

Stop the count = domestic terrorism

RT and FOLLOW Clark Gregg Reporter for a chance to win a #SHIELD100 prize package of ALL the things you see in the photo (Prizes include autographs from Clark Gregg Ming-Na Wen @ChloeBennet4 Elizabeth Henstridge Iain de Caestecker #HenrySimmons & @YOSOYCORDOVA!)

RT and FOLLOW us for a chance to win a Clark Gregg BIRTHDAY prize package of ALL the things you see in this photo: * Rare Coulson & May @TVGUIDE (signed by Clark Gregg & Ming-Na Wen) * skottie young variant Secret Avengers comic (signed by Clark Gregg) * 50 Shades of Gregg t-shirt)

How about a quick GIVEAWAY in honor of #AgentsofSHIELD's Season 6 Renewal & Friday's #Deadpool2 release? RT and FOLLOW us for a chance to win: * an #AgentsofSHIELD comic (w/Deadpool & Coulson on the cover), signed by Clark Gregg * an #AoS/SDCC lanyard (courtesy of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV)