How to get rid of whiteheads fast and safely myawesomebeauty.com/how-to-remove-… via @myawesomebeauty

now after my last tweet its depressing that as people get older and fade from the internet, Yahoo is the last thing they will see.

im throwing my wallet at the screen and nothing is happening microsoftstore.com/store/msusa/ht…

This man can alter the polarity of a deep ball

Winners never quit

I need this petcube.net via @twitterapi

Pumba lifted his leg to pee for the first time yesterday... #proudfather

if Fake ESPN wasnt on twitter, Neither would I.

The lesson here is: Cheat on your Wife, Not the sport. We are looking at your lance armstrong. forbes.com/pictures/mli45…

Word.

Honored & excited to be serving our #soldiers at #fortbliss for the 1st Annual Father's Day Car Show!

Today closes a chapter in a great season. Thanks for 81 #RedSoxNation! We're not done yet. instagram.com/p/ek0mwIM6LX/

#QuadBoxSighting @nflredzone

Alert: Unconfirmed reports of explosives at four sites on campus: Science Center, Thayer, Sever, and Emerson. Evacuate those buildings now.

Don't tell me what to do #mydunkin

I have been listening to Jack's mannequin for 48hrs straight now... ending the work year right

I am sorry 'Flappy Bird' users, 22 hours from now, I will take 'Flappy Bird' down. I cannot take this anymore.

Hey @tbsveryfunny I made you a Twitter banner for when you decide to #greenlightjakeandamir your welcome

I wonder if I strap my phone to my leg during my set, will my eggs hatch faster because I move around so much?

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary