Crazy what u can accomplish in the kitchen w ingredients and seasoning 🙏🏻

My work has two bathrooms. One is spacious, with antique wood floors, and has an entire dresser for some reason. The other is the chokey from matilda

All of my top 5 foods are best described as a form of “Slop” except panang

There aren’t very many words left with real power behind them. The words where you know someone really isn’t messing around. Like if someone describes their food as ‘decadent’ all you can do is be like “Jesus, Matt it’s that good?”

guy with the broccolini haircut searching “big boobs” on google images: “lets go”

Closed last night, opened this morning. My secret? A hot shower and eating ten ribs before laying down

[thats amore] when you come home from school and your mom made spaghetti that’s a booya

idk what my cats did in the litter closet but it smells like there’s a mummy in there

jelly went into matts room and threw his glasses onto the floor and then pushed them under his bed

I WENT TO SCHOOL THERE

Anyone disappointed about peaking in middle school sucked at kickball

Back in Oklahoma we had a haka too but it was called “The Worm”

Kicked off shark tank because the kev machine hated my sparkling bidet

I want a third cat so I can name him onion :)

Just saw a Golden Corral where the neon sign burnt out and it said Go d Or al

anything for my sön

work gave me three entire smoked chickens

tried edibles one time and felt like the babadook

Me if drinking ice cold beers was called smithing

Can’t imagine how many menthols they go through