today is the only day you can retweet this

And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die…his feet are light and nimble. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, Tiny Tim. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand t-shirt. She couldn't even name 3 other main causes of the outbreak of World War I

We are the granddaughters of the grandmas you couldn’t run over with reindeers

Why do my cats like to climb on my desk when I'm gaming and putt thier butts in my face? If I wanted to stare at assholes I'd watch Fox News.

You want that list chronologically or alphabetically

Merry Christmas to the only community that understands that Santa is clearly one of us. Think about it: 1. He procrastinates for 364 days. 2. He pulls a global all-nighter fueled by sugar and deadline panic. 3. He completes the entire year's work in a manic 8-hour hyperfocus

Hey ladies stop asking grok to make you goth or put you in a bikini. Put on some dark lipstick and lingerie and go ho it up in real life. Show some respect for yourself and stop using AI.

My new years resolution is to eat out more. And also cook more food at home

Hey has anyone asked grok to delete itself?

This is the LAST day you can retweet this.

you can only retweet this today

Sloppy sloppity slop

I feel like I probably get more training in a video game tutorial to learn how to control the camera than ICE agents get to use a gun.

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This is just dating an autistic person

Pain of an unemployed person: • You wake up late, but still feel tired • Every day feels the same • You apply for jobs daily, no replies • Phone notifications give hope, then nothing • Family keeps asking “Any update?” • Friends slowly stop calling • You start avoiding

We’re cooked

If the Melania movie had a popcorn bucket it would probably be shaped like Trump's boot.