WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS BREAK THE FUCKING LEMON TREES BACK SUPLEX IT PUT IT IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH MAKE IT HUMBLE THAT DUMB SON OF A BITCH BASTARD. FUCK THE JABRONI LEMONS

Hogan even refused to put over Ozzy for a couple of days.

Wow, these tragedies always come in threes. Malcolm Jamal Warner, Ozzy, and now we've lost a true legend; Chuck Mangione.

Had two dental implants put in today. Full anesthesia. And now everything inside my mouth sucks.

Many times a day, I turn my head to the side and give a knowing wink and a nod to the camera, even if there is not a camera around for miles. Because as God is my witness, I will break that fucking fourth wall or die trying.

Hey Grok who was the most famous person to visit my profile? doesnt need to be a mutual, dont tag them, just say who it was

I see your Tom Jones, and I raise you Billy Preston and Ray Charles. share.google/w3poebzmfYJ8oN…

I finally decided this morning that no matter what I paid for these eggs, they're not collectors items, and I have to eat them before they go bad.

Not now. I'm still mourning the loss of Cheese Nips. DAMN YOU, NABISCO! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

You so rarely get to use the term "Kafkaesque" in baseball. Especially in AAA.

Holy shit, do I ever hate getting sucker punched by a song at work. Grief bombs are the worst.

I started season 4 of Blind Spot last night, and I'm getting that icky feeling that this is where it's going to completely jump the shark and make me mad at myself for watching it. Is it just me, or is this show about to become unwatchable?

Dear celebrity podcast: I would rather die than play some piece of shit scam called Chumba Casino. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

💯

Hi. I'm back. I know, you didn't even know I've been suspended for a week.

Ok. You asked for it. share.google/ZK97tdigVitFG1…

Cool, Dean. Cool. Now tell us how great it was that your relatives were rounded up and forced into internment camps during WWII. I'm sure that makes you swell up with patriotic price and gives you a big Jesus boner or something.

You know, maybe we SHOULD all go join ICE. And REALLY fuck it up from the inside.

PRICE OF EVERYTHING INCREASING BIGLY!

Therefore, if you have suffered any kind of harm, you disprove the entire bible. Ipso facto, no god. I don't know if I used that correctly, but I just like saying ipso facto.