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BREAKING: National Security officials reportedly refused to let Pete Hegseth bring his mobile makeup station into the Situation Room during their planning sessions on how to respond to Iran.

BREAKING: The entire world is waiting to see if Steve Bannon, Catturd2, Laura Loomer, and Kid Rock can talk Donald Trump out of starting a new war in Iran.

BREAKING: In the Situation Room meeting about the Israel-Iran bombings this morning, a musical chairs style scuffle reportedly broke out between JD Vance, Pete Hegseth, Kristi Noem, Stephen Miller, and Tulsi Gabbard as they wrestled each other to get the two seats beside Trump.

BREAKING: Military surplus stores nationwide are reportedly refusing to sell "Don't tread on me" flags and bumper stickers to ICE agents.

BREAKING: Donald Trump just tore off his face revealing it to be a mask, and it was really Jeb Bush in disguise, and Jeb yelled out, "That's right, baby, Bush #3 in the house, doing a third round of war in the Middle East! Bushes rule!"

BREAKING: Trump’s doctors are begging Americans to stop protesting him because his blood pressure is “through the roof” after his tariffs failed, he got no deal on Ukraine or Iran, his birthday parade sucked, his budget is unpopular, and the economy is headed toward recession.

BREAKING: Trump is reportedly pissed he has gotten himself into a catch-22 where if he doesn’t bomb Iran he’s a "TACO" chicken again, and if he does bomb Iran his base will abandon him for involving the US in another Middle Eastern war after campaigning as the "peace candidate."