I’m sorry to report that I am the emoji cousin. 😭🤦🏼‍♀️💀

For anyone wondering how mercury retrograde is going…

Here’s Capital One all like “you *might * see the one and only Taylor swift!”…. AS IF we’d didn’t just get our hearts ripped out over that exact phrase with Ticketmaster , why they gunna do that to us!?!?

That ice this morning is no joke. Slap some skates on me and call me Tara Lipinski.

OF FVCKING COURSE, the packers draft someone named Kraft. #NflDraft

Life motto alert: “You only suck for a little bit, then you get used to it and it’s a much better experience.”

To the license plate in front of me, CRY3127… ok. 😭😭😭

Anyone else wanna see a Wendy’s v The DADDY 😀 roast off? I feel like this could be amazing.

I just really want my blue bird back.

That time of year again where I start getting all the birthday coupons from restaurants that Montana doesn’t have. 😭😭😭

My dad was the one that told me we had lost the first campaign I worked. I was driving to Statesville from Mt Airy and was on the phone with him. I missed the text from my RFD. Dad was watching results roll in. We talked it out. It was the one time I felt he was proud of my work.

All this tree / leaf changing bologna needs to just chill the French toast down! like. It’s august! #notreadyforfall

No clue how I constantly forget that Missoula is a small town: huh at fresh market is mad at the cashier because he didn’t want to buy spaghetti… she’s ringing up a spaghetti SQUASH… like…

…. In this game, we earned every terrible thing that has happened to us EXCEPT that incidental contact… 56/13 is STRAIGHT trash.

I swear to god that if we get fall hallmark movies about the pop star who visits a mid-west city and meets the cute pro-athlete and then they have a whirlwind romance including cheering for him at sport, I will 1) hate it. And 2) watch the everliving sh*t out of every single one.

The weird thing about growing up conservative and becoming more liberal is talking to conservative people who clearly have never met a real life democrat.

Ms. TAYLOR ALLISON SWIFT did NOT just send us all scrambling to watch her movie a day early then go to watch her mans win a ball game!! Like. What. …. g-d, I love her.

Just discovered I have been sending emails with a misspelling in my email signature for the last two weeks. 🫠

Remember two years ago when updating out twitter bio took a whole group chat to approve and three days to commit to?? Well now I’m thinking of adding “exorcist extraordinaire” with no context and the feeling is very “meh” and that makes me sad.

My mom visited me in Missoula two weeks ago. We went to TJ Maxx and bought this… she’s used it twice. WetBrush … what is up with this?!