Let’s have a Dick Emery and Pat Coombs quickie.

Well I’ve half a mind to dig this suit out tomorrow for the Coronation. I’ve got a lovely blue shirt & red tie that will go a treat with it. Me and 2-bras Beryl are going to the Cock n Trumpet to watch it. The Landlord’s giving us private access to his 52 inch upstairs. Fancy. 😱

Well I’m worn out before it’s started… I’ve had non-stick Nel on the ‘phone at the crack of dawn in a terrible tiz. Apparently she opened a pack of value ham from Tesco and there was Princess Di.. “D’you think it’s a sign Laz?”

Well I’m all agog! Who on earth is that next to Mr Lloyd-Webber, surely it’s someone in a disguise… #Coronation

I thought he looked familiar!

(Con’t). Finger. (Previous tweet sent in error before I’d finished typing! 😱)

Oh dear I seem to have upset this person with my tweet, they clearly prefer to exist in a world devoid of humour. Everard, quick pour me a large Emva Cream…I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! 😂

Are we all dear!

R.I.P. George Logan (Dr Evadne Hinge) whose death was announced yesterday, seen here with Patrick Fyffe (Dame Hilda Bracket) in The Good Old Days (5th February 1976).

Awe, you are kind to think of me at this sad time. Yes I raised a glass tonight and toasted dear Dame Evadne and Hilda, now reunited at last! I shall always think of them both whenever I have a stiff one in future. You’ve given me a moist cheek! #Emvacream #HingeAndBracket ❤️

Glory be! Everard is all agog watching Dermot O'Leary and Alison Hammond doing their shoulder rolls to ABC.. “Laz, d’you think if I did those movements with my shoulders people would find me alluring at the gentleman’s disco?..” I told him no. They’d think you were Thomas The tank

Happy Birthday to Helen Worth!

Gd morning! What a lovely, gay day. Everard’s gone out for a walk in the woods with his pal Lancôme Bird & Gladys Uppard, next door, has been out pruning her overgrown bush on her frontage in her pink housecoat! I’m making myself a coffee and may dunk a chocolate finger! Hey ho

Ooo I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! I was just going to have a couple of my lemon puff biscuits with my mellow Birds ☕️ and then this popped up on my feed. That 👅 tongue, reminds me of something else. Can’t think what..

Hear, hear! It’s been 29 years ago today since that door finally closed 🚪💕

Well I don’t know whether I’m coming or going! Here I am stood in my galley kitchen with a wet rag in my hand & I’ve no idea what I came in here for. Everard is in the lean-to with his pal Lancôme Bird choreographing their new Eurovision ribbon dance. Apparently it’s too secret..

Poor Fred. I bet he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I once spotted my neighbour, Gladys Uppard pegging out 2 of her wigs on the washing line. She’d tried to disguise them by attaching 2 plastic dolls from Poundland but I knew the truth.. the dolls were tiny in comparison!😆