My neighbors probably think I’m insane since I have to yell, “get out of your brother’s butt,” a million times a day to my cats.

I am sitting next to a child who is SLAMMING sugar packets when his mom isn’t watching. It’s 8am bro come on.

College was such a weird time. People really showed up to class with a hangover on a Wednesday.

#NewProfilePic

“disliking Christmas is not a personality trait.” Neither is liking Christmas? I think they’re both just ✨opinions✨

found out this week one of my “male” cats is in fact not a “male.” So, I gave them an early Christmas present. Hope it persuades them.

I’m 1 knocked over plant (on my carpet) away from opening my door and just letting my cats get away.

Dude, I want my mom.

Argued with my dad about arugula being a cheese or a green???

Me screaming “west side till I die,” knowing I’m from western Kansas.

I use to think my 🚩 was that I always assumed people’s feelings and then therapy taught me it was actually trauma so that’s cool.

my cat would have her first litter on a Monday.

I think I could marry Seth Rogen

The way I say, “shut the f*ck up,” when I’m really excited or can’t believe something needs to stop but I. CANT.

My cat looks to me when her kittens start meowing??? Like girl you made your bed, lay in that shit. Shoulda wore a condom.

Dunkin delivery man: “you wear contacts?” “No sir.” DDM: “good. Glasses for you.” “Thank you so much.” DDM: “Fr those glasses turn you up.” Suddenly I’m not as depressed.

watching snap stories wishing they were tik toks to see if everyone is thinking what I’m thinking in the comments.

my gym was playing “My 600lb life” on the tvs in front of the treadmills today.

STAY AWAY FROM SOUTH OVAL! IF YOU’RE WALKING TO/FROM BARS DON’T

If anyone sees any of my skeletons do me a favor and shove them back in.