A wolf spider the size of a matchbox car just posted up under my washing machine. I need solutions.

Half an hour after dinner my 2 yo pulled a piece of toast from her pocket and started eating it and honestly I’m impressed

My dad just emailed me a tik tok video. Not a link to the video. A file download that some other boomer friend had managed to attach to an email and send to him. #printingtheinternet

What’s happening here

I ate pie for lunch

Do the Eagles suck or what??????!?!?!!

Hot chocolate + scoop of ice cream + kahlua. You’re welcome.

I just went down a mountain in a ski patrol sled, ama

Pro Tip: when you take your kids outside to play in the snow for a bit, make sure the door does not FUCKING LOCK behind you

Businesses that have stopped doing curbside but still have signs and websites offering curbside can fuck right off

Dear Hulu, please stop loading “what’s new.” I am only here for Golden Girls

Hear me out: a bar cart in hospitals. For the visitors of course 🍸

50% pooping in pants rate in our house today how’s your Monday?

Just saw John Wick 4…my first time in a movie theater since 1917…it was most excellent

Today I got a car wash and cleaned my car. I also cleaned up living room rug and couch vomit, car seat vomit, and dog getting in the trash mess. I’ve wiped butts and noses. I cleaned crayon off the floor. I am tired of cleaning. This is what people don’t see when you’re a SAHM.

Had knee surgery and can’t walk. Troy is doing everything. I binged Queen Charlotte and now I can’t stop calling him Brimsley

So…did they at least get to see the Titanic wreckage before they died? #Titan #OceanGate

I made the mistake of informing my 3 yo that NYC is a long plane ride away and now she is crying because we can’t go there today and honestly, same.

Today I stuck my finger in a poop diaper, had a giant spider crawl on my leg, and unknowingly washed a load of clothes with a large stick. I’m not ok