now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around I'll see you when I fall asleep

I bought a one-way ticket ‘cause I knew I’d never see the ground unless I was aboard a jet plane and we were going down

you see them when you close your eyes maybe, one day, you’ll understand why everything you touch surely dies

I thought, well-- that's it. you put a bullet in someone. you're not you anymore. you'll never be you again. but then you wake up the next morning, and... you're still you. and you realize-- that was you all along. you just didn't know.

I will love you as patroclus loved achilles: with blood under my fingernails and venom on my lips. I will hold you as if you are the world because to me, you are. and not even death could do us part.

there has not been a day since she died when I have not thought of her. but today... today was the first time I understood, truly understood that I will never see her again. if there is such a thing as an afterlife, captain, I will not even see her there, because I will not die.

here is the repeated image of the lover destroyed. crossed out. clumsy hands in a dark room. crossed out. there is something underneath the floorboards. crossed out.

achilles wished all greeks would die so that he and patroclus could conquer troy alone. it took divine intervention to bring them down.

this emotion is mine alone. it is for you alone. it is the pinnacle of all human emotion. more passionate than hope, far deeper than despair. love.

all too easily, memories of the beginning summon memories of the end. the things that slipped through my fingers… the people I couldn’t protect… the regrets of that day when I didn’t grab your hand —

he is more machine, now, than man. twisted and evil.

they are trying to make us kill you and we refuse. I do think that maybe it's all going to be okay.

my body slaughterhouse. I’m coughing up my own lungs. I’m spilling all this red into the street. I do it because I love you. I can’t help it, if I love you.

the most effective way to remove a broadhead arrow embedded in a human body is to push it through. attempting to pull it out will only further devastate the surrounding tissue. to begin healing, then, the violent act must be completed.

sorry about the bony elbows, sorry we lived here, sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud. especially that, but I should have known.

it’s a romantic thought — it’s a terrifying reality. I ache for the idea of it. how alike we all are.

I am trying to make myself digestible. I am trying to make myself easy to love.

I’m leaving every light on because I saw it in a movie once.  that kind of hope. I saw it in a movie once. how things can’t hurt you if you’re lit up from the inside. I saw that in a movie once.

there it is. the goddamn orange-going-into-rose descending circle of beauty and time. you have nothing to be sad about.

as we were. as we are no longer. as we will one day not be at all.