Tucking your joggers in your socks is a universal sign of wanting your ass beat

Might not be on Forbes list but I’m on federal

Fuck Larry. I’m livin like Lyle

Indulging myself with the lesser things in life

Everytime oomf explains how he’s an addict I just hear “I’m a dick head bro I’m sorry”

That meat ashton Kutcher approved or is it bad for me?

Oomf reminded me I’m the sun and it’s dawned on me. If I die you all die. Count your days

Telephone: Start: “The dog barks at the moon at night pass it on” Fin: “Ur mama blew my cock last night pass it on”

I need more blood

For every door that closes another reason to kms appears

Oomf only comes out at night

Saying “be gay have sex👍” to oomf instead of be safe have fun

Statistically most men suck a dick BEFORE the gun so you can’t say we’re close minded thinkers

X’weets?? X’ter? Change the fuckin name back dude everyone calls it Twitter anyway

this guy 👉😎👈 can’t sleep

GOOD MORNING RETARDS

It was way funnier when ye did it

Nobody FUCKIN MOVE I dropped a thumbtack

Dead tired but taking a nap means zero sleep tonight

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